Click on the links below
Join our "Anonymous
Phone Conferences", based on the
12 Step Program
Click here for a letter from Rabbi Twerski
on the importance of the 12 Step Groups
Click here for answers from Rabbi Twerski
to important Questions about the 12 Step Groups
Click here for answers from Elya to
important Questions about the 12 Step Groups
To
learn and understand the 12-Steps properly, here
is our reading recommendation order:
Free Reading Online and Offline
1)
SA short Newcomer brochure
2)
SA Why Stop Lusting brochure
The following pieces of literature
represent the cornerstones of Strong AA.
3)
The 12 Steps & 12 Traditions
(Replace the
word "Alcohol" with "Lust")
4)
The Full and Complete 1st edition of the "Big Book" with
stories
(Replace the
word "Alcohol" with "Lust")
For Palm OS
5)
Gresham's Law
6) A very important
early step guide called "The
Detroit Pamphlet", which was the inspiration for the
Back-to-Basics Program:
7)
A widely
quoted story in AA,
"They Stopped in Time". Learning true
Acceptance.
Offline Hardcopy Only Reading by Purchase:
Buy the SA Book (known as White Book due to
its anonymous White Cover). It is available for purchase in hard copy
over here:
Get the 12 Step Books
AA Big
Book audio
MP3. (Man voice over). Free online. $10.95 to download.
Reading the literature can help us become acquainted with the
steps and the profound philosophy behind them. By reading the many true
stories in the "Big Book" we can see how the 12-Steps helped people turn
around their lives to G-d and break free of the powerful grip of addiction.
You can also study the Big Book together with Duvid Chaim - an experienced
sponsor, on his free and anonymous
phone conference, as we mentioned above. A typical cycle with Duvid
Chaim will last a few months.
If you want to learn the basics of the 12-Steps much faster, you can join
Boruch's "Back to Basics"
phone conference where you'll cover the 12-Steps in just 4 weeks. The
literature for the "Back to Basics" program can be
downloaded here.
Hundreds of thousands in AA have also found "Joe
and Charlie's Big Book Study" very meaningful. Many believe that Joe
and Charlie are the single best introduction you can get to the original
program of the Big Book. (The link above is a word-for-word transcript of
the recordings available
here in mp3).
We also highly suggest reading the SA Book (known as
White Book due to its anonymous White Cover). It is a wonderful supplement
to the Big Book for people who suffer from Lust addiction. It is available
for purchase in hard copy
here.
Elya posted on
the Forum:
It helps a lot to work the 12 steps with a sponsor. I know
for the first 5-6 years I just went to meetings and never worked the steps.
But once I started working them by writing things down and exploring the
resentments, anger and fear, after admitting I was powerless, then I began
to get better and heal.
"Kookookreekoo" Posted on
the Forum:
Nothing helped me until I was told that I am an addict a
"Sex-Addict" and that my only option is to work the 12 steps. Nothing,
absolutely nothing in this world can keep me sober, but Hashem is working with me
thru the power of the program.
Listen my friend, if you are a addict like myself then be aware that it only
gets worse, this addiction really kills. It kills us spiritually, mentally,
and physically. Don't think that by just making phone calls, and/or posting
on the forum you will be healed. It doesn't work that way.
Maybe you are not an addict, but if you are, then the only option is to work
the twelve steps of recovery.
Dov, who is sober in SA for over 10 years wrote:
The 12-Step
program way of looking at the whole business is actually different than
what we are used to.
It is even different from what normal people without these
problems are used to.
The program is not about answering questions to beat the desire.
It is not an answer to the problem, at all. It does not make one
"stronger", at all.
It is about changing myself and the way I think so that I do not have
the problem in the first place.
This is done by the steps and by being part of a group of other people
with the same problem getting better the same way.
It would not work at all if it was done under the instruction of a
teacher or Rav, or shrink, because it is about being together with folks
who know you because they are the same as you are in this respect.
Looking at it as a "struggle", I find useless and
poisonous for me. To struggle, for me, implies that I can beat it if I
only try hard enough and that is how I got so messed up in the first
place.
I got this messed up my way.
Now it is time to do things a different way.
Because I finally became ready for
things to be different.
And yes, the solution is not "long term", but neither is your kabolas
ohl malchus shomayim. You can only be mekabel it for today, right? Can
you eat for tomorrow? Can you go to the bathroom extra today, so you
will not need to go tomorrow? No. In the same way a person can "commit"
himself to keeping the Torah/mekabel the ohl forever, but his commitment
is actually hevel. You cannot guarantee that you will keep it tomorrow.
It says "hayom" in the Kriyas sh'ma, no? It's really really new, each
day.
This is how the program's solution works, for me. This is all it means
when we say, "One day at a time."
When we get honest about our limitations, like "we are sober only for
today," it's not because it is too hard to do a week or a year. It is
not about willpower at all! It's because it is just the truth: we are
only sober one day at a time, and that is our only business. Not
tomorrow. Focus on tomorrow's sobriety is more shtuyot.
We get honest with ourselves and with others like us, to make it all
more real to us. And that is the first step.
If you want to know a lot about the 12 steps I suggest reading the books
called "the SA white book", and the book called "Alcoholics Anonymous".
But what worked for me was not reading or studying. It was attending SA
meetings, spending time with other people with my type of problem who
were getting better, and actually following the directions of the steps
to the letter.
Thank-you for your patience with me. It takes me a long time to say
things, sorry.
Hatzlocha and if we do not communicate again before RH, Have a kesiva
vechasima tova you and all your family!
- Dov