Q. The reason that the 12 steps does not work for me is that, as far as I’m aware, the program does not believe pornography addiction can be overcome with free-choice. The first step is admitting that we are powerless against it by ourselves. My belief is subtly different. While I believe that we are powerless without Hashem, this is because the root of our free-choice is Hashem. I have realized that no matter how much I daven, Hashem leaves it up to me to make the right choices.

A. Hashem is indeed the source of free-choice, but ultimately, it is HE who fights this battle for us. Jewish Hashkafa agrees with the 12-Steps 100%. Rabbi Twerski has a whole book showing how the 12-Steps is similar to the Torah approach ("Self Improvement? I'm Jewish!). Let me try and answer your question. It says in the holy books that Hashem wants us to try our very best to break the Yetzer Hara. When we see we can't, he steps in and does it for us. But he only steps in if we have tried everything humanly possible and still cannot succeed. At that point, we have a true realization that we need him and that only HE can do. And when we have that true realization, we have a true "vessel" for his help, and that is when he steps in and does it for us. This is the Jewish approach, and this is also the core of the 12-Steps as well. "Admitting powerlessness and surrendering to Hashem" means, we have tried everything and cannot succeed on our own. At that point, we are READY for Hashem to help us.