Q. I have a problem. After watching so much porn i seem to be immune to seeing such perverted pictures. Itís like Iím numb to what is there. Not that i donít want to see it, obviously thereís a reason i keep coming back to it, b/c Iím addicted to it. What is scary is that my mind canít be in normal mode. Have i gone and ruined my - not yet - relationship with my future wife? Has my mind become distorted forever?
A. Dear Jew, The sooner you stop, the cleaner your mind will be when you get married. And yes, this can cause problems in marriage. If your wife senses that your mind is on other women and other fantasies when you are with her, this can lead to resentment and a rift between you. It takes a while for the mind to be clean, so stop NOW. You can do it. Jack just made it to 90 days (see his inspiring log here). If Jack can do it, you can too. He suffers from so many things, low self esteem, anxiety, abusive childhood, fear and constant pain (from a burst appendix in his youth which never fully healed).
"Jack" posts an answer on the forum:
All the advice will be the same - the sooner you stop, the better off you are. Donít worry about the future. we have to do what's right - right now. it's hard, very hard, but we're here for you. it'll be hard, you tell us, we'll listen. stop as soon as you can. hit your bed with a tennis racket when the anxiety strikes. listen to the music on this site (even though i haven't heard any of it myself yet).close the doors and blast the music the loudest your computer goes. and let the anxiety out of your head. and then you'll feel better, 100 times better that you didn't give in. donít you want to feel better?
"PostalServico" posts an answer on the forum:
I too felt immune to perversion...and as I went along, it became more and more perverse. But let me tell you that this immunity does not last, as long as you stay away from the perverse images. Part of doing tshuva is completely separating yourself from the sin. This step in the tshuva process will help break the immunity to perversion. What will emerge is a disgust of such filth.
"Battleworn" posts an answer on the forum:
I also had that feeling and I can testify that the damage is not permanent. I was particularly disturbed by the forms of shmutz that I got used to - some of the lowest stuff possible. I promise, that you can turn it all around -zedoinos naasim zechuyos and you can become a bigger tzadik than anyone who hasn't fallen as low. There is no question at all about it.
People like us have a tendency to break through normal barriers and this is an extremely powerful trait. When the brain doesn't control the heart, this trait is very dangerous. But when you do teshuva and get in control you have such a tremendous power, that others can't even fathom.
Im lo achshov aimusai!! Start the journey now before you miss the chance. But keep in mind, Hashem always expects us to do the best we can -no more and no less. The best we can, varies greatly -sometimes we can win 100%, sometimes x% and there are even times when we can't win at all. At those times all Hashem wants from us is to try our hardest. And if we do we will succeed!!!
"Kookooreekoo" posts an answer on the forum:
"Mevakesh" posts an answer on the forum: