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Is the Problem Really Widespread?
Pornography addiction in the religious world


Just for starters, read this story about a "normal bachur, a 'good kid', going to yeshivish yeshiva's" and this story too!

One of our members recently posted the following:

Any one who allows themselves to have access to porn, i.e they have not installed a porn filter, and have not (GIVEN THE CODE TO SOMEONE ELSE), it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE not to fall. Simple trial and error will prove this to be true. If you have not removed the possibility of viewing porn on your computer, then you must be honest with yourself and admit that you are not as of yet ready to begin the healing process. Yes, the fact that you are here is great, and does prove that you have an interest, BUT..... I believe that it is impossible to succeed is this manner. Once you deny yourself access to porn, then you most probably will begin to seek other more useful activities to fill your time, especially since the porn is no longer available.

In an article about the dangers of the internet on Arutz Sheva and the necessity for reliable filters, people write the Talk-Back"...

Why focus on us?

I can testify that the problem is real and widespread, but why focus on young people. As the expression goes, "Like father like son".

Addicted Teenager, (06/08/08)

 

Filters aren't always enough

Our son would lock himself in his room for hours with his computer. When we discovered what he was watching, we downloaded a filter, and tried to send him for counseling but he wouldn't go. Now he doesn't come home in the afternoons and says he's with friends, but I am worried that he is still at it. We are a religious family (dati leumi) and advice isn't easy to come by. I think the Haredi approach is healthier in this matter than ours. When we bring TV, and videos, and Maariv into our homes, not to mention the computer, what can we expect from our children?

Mrs. F, Modiin (05/08/08)

 

Dangers of Internet

The problem is not only children, but adults as well. Teachers themselves are not immune. I speak from experience and a long difficult battle against my own temptations. The Internet can be a useful tool but it can also destroy lives. Filters can help but they are not enough. The subject must be discussed openly so that everyone is aware of the dangers and where he or she can find help if they fall.

Teacher, Israel (05/08/08)

 

This is so very true

It's been a problem in our home too. If you love you children (and your husband) get a filter!

Mother, Florida (05/08/08)

 

Disappearing husbands

Girls, if your husband disappears into his study or down to the basement for hours on end to "do some work on the computer" you can be sure he's watching porn.

Jilted Wife, NY (05/08/08)

 

How do you stop?

I am fifteen. After school before my parents get home from work I watch things that I shouldn't on the computer. Sometimes for hours. I'd like to stop but I don't know how. I have no one to talk to about it. I can't ask my parents to install a filter cause then they'll know.

Somebody, (06/08/08)

 

You are in denial if you claim this is a problem for teens only!!!

Every living breathing man from 18 to 120 faces this incredible challenge! Any man who says it doesn't affect him is a LIAR or in denial! Stop pinning it on teens only as if they are 'weird' or 'guilty.'

EVERY man has to deal with this challenge, we are all in this, no one is abnormal or perverse, we all are tempted by this and we must all fight it. You can win. It takes time and hard work and discipline. The path can be gradual (whatever it takes you to get there, go for it). But we can all defeat this challenge, but never forget and never be misled, we are all plagued by it.

Not Just Teens!!!!!, Galut (07/08/08)

 

As someone who has worked extensively with both dati leumi and haredi youth, I can say that the problem is actually worse among the haredi youth. My thinking is that because the dati leumi youth are more physically active and more connected to nature and the land, that this serves as an outlet to letting off some steam, making them more balanced.

Rafi, Yerushalayim (07/08/08)

 


 

Comments to YeshivaWorld on an article about the dangers of the internet.
 

Rabbi Bender shlita is 100% on the dot.

Unfortunately, people would vomit if they knew the real stats of how many frum adults get lost on the internet. I know this from my counselling in the Jewish Community.

Comment by zaitgezunt — May 14, 2008 @ 5:34 pm

 


 

This is an issue that unfortunately affects adults as well.
Ask any experienced rav or mechanech.
Rabbi Bender, may you be blessed with many more healthy and productive years to continue your holy work!!
Comment by ayin tov — May 14, 2008 @ 3:19 pm

 


 

The internet is just as dangerous to an adult as it is to a child. Rabonim are against it and consider it poison.

Comment by Rav Mechel — May 14, 2008 @ 3:54 pm

 


Yes, the internet is used by most people to access pornography more than it is used by people to access valuable information. But so what? Is that a reason to justify attempting to ban it straight out? How about coming up with a solution that works … and not just take the easy way out, and risk losing out on a potential benefit?

Here’s my ideas:
1) No internet for your kids (or for you … don’t kid yourselves … adults have a yetzer hara too), in a place that no one else can find/interrupt you (consider it as yichud, if you want)
2) Forget about the programs that filter the internet … they don’t always work, and most teenagers could get through/by them if they want
3) instead, use a program that monitors what you do see, and that sends a link/info about it to a person whom you would not want to see it if you (G-d forbid) do anything inappropriate. This removes the possibility of you cancelling it, because that person would see that you have cancelled it.

Comment by TOHIGHSCHOOLGUY — May 14, 2008 @ 10:50 pm