I am Not Giving Up
Taken from the Forum at www.jewishsexuality.com

I am 22 years old and i am a baal tshuva. from an early age i was not raised very religious and early on i was exposed to pornography and sexually impure images. over time i became obsessed with pornography, and later my teens when the internet started become popular, i quickly became addicted to internet porn. about two years ago i became a baal tshuvah and have slowly become more and more religious. about a year ago i stumble across the teachings of rabbi nachman and my life has never been the same. i am grateful for your PA sight because i know first hand that many young jewish men have become addicted to internet porn and waste seed a lot and this is something that many rabbis wont talk abbout. many jews dont realize the severity of this sin and many jewish friends whom i know view internet porn and waste seed and laugh at me when i try to teach them about what the zohar and reb nachman have taught about this horrible transgression. over the years i have filled my head with very much garbage, i have been viewing porn since i was maybe heaven forbid 11 years old. over the years i have wasted seed heaven forbid thousands maybe tens of thousands of times. i was taught by many people surrounding me that it was ok and i fell into their trap. i have been making great progress and i will never despair and always will keep striving to be a better jew and help others to break their porn addiction becuase i know it truly is a drug and is very addictive. but i must admit rabbi, in the back of my mind i do feal that i have done so much damage over the years that their is no way i can be saved. I am not giving up and i know young people today are being attacked by the sexual urge only because this is the time of moshiach and the yetzer is fighting its last battle, but for me every day is a struggle and i have been making progress yet still it isn’t easy, so i want to thank you for all of the suggestions you write and the writings you have gathered from great and holy rabbis like rabbi nachman. May hashem bless you.