Guard Your Eyes

Thank you from all of my heart. You told my painful story for me, with different details of course, but the same thing happened to me, only we got a divorce. My former husband hardly ever see his children. He is probably still addicted. I lived three years with this nightmare and the pain has been stuck in my heart but it helps knoing there are others and maybe I can help other women too like you are doing by telling them not to blame themselves, this is a disease not something that happens because we are not attractive enough for our husbands - in fact I am considered a pretty woman with lots of offers, but it is a terrible disease and women must learn not to punish themselves by staying in empty marriages, but have the strength to know that they can start over again.

When I discovered that my former husband was watching pornography for hours on end in our study at home, I took a hammer and smashed smashed smashed the computer. That didn't stop him from watching on his laptop and cellular phone. Our eleven year marriage ended in an angry divorce and who knows what damage it has had on our kids? And this is a religious man who was a bigshot at shul and a big giver to charity. When I poured out my heart to our rabbi, he said at least my husband didn't have another woman, but it was just as if he had. I felt he wasn't a part of me anymore. He made it out like it was all my problem and that I should accept him for who he was and be grateful that he wasn't having an affair, just like the rabbi said. But I couldn't take the betrayal I felt. I don't want to marry again. As far as I am concerned men are all liars.

I lost my husband to the Internet. For a whole year, I had a funny feeling. Even though he was in the house, he seemed to disappear. He said he was "working" on the computer day and night. It turned out he was addicted to Internet porn. It was like he was having an affair with a mistress right under our roof. Unfortunately I found out to late. He was already gone after some other woman before I could throw the computer out of the house. I threw it out anyway to make sure the same thing didn't happen with my kids. Look out!