Guard Your Eyes

GuardUrEyes
A website for Jews struggling to maintain their moral purity in today's world
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Vidui
Taken from the Forum at www.jewishsexuality.com

I have been secretly addicted to pornography on the Internet for several years. It has taken all of the love and intimacy out of my marriage. My mind is filled with terrible fantasies. I need Viagra to have relations with my wife. For the sake of the children I act out the part of a husband and father. I always believed I could stop but only got in deeper and deeper. I have been too embarrassed to go for help. I continue to lead a religious life but it is all an empty shell. I have read the advice at Pornoholics Anonymous with great interest and I know that what it says is right, but as long as a computer is in reach, I don't have the power to stop. And I know that there must be many others like me because I am no different from other men and they have the same passions and temptations too. I could call up Rimon and install a filter this minute but I don't want to. So what am I too do?

How can I go to pray on Yom Kippur when I know that on Motzei Shabbat, right after breaking the fast, I will be back on the computer. Please Hashem forgive me. My life is all a big lie. Give me the strength to stop.