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guardureyes
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« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2008,
11:22:23 AM »
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Eme, thank you for joining our community! And
thank you "Me" for the great reply and tips.
Yes, Eme, you have hit the nail on the head. The
site is called "GuardUrEyes" because no matter
how complex this disease seems to be,
emotionally, psychologically, physically, etc...
it all boils down to guarding the eyes. If a
person can guard your eyes, he is 99.99% healed.
The heart and mind may be polluted from years of
abuse, but they too will become pure and holy if
one learns to guards his eyes.
But there are many levels. Even for one who has
stopped with the porn and masturbation for a
while, may find himself still struggling with
keeping his eyes clean when out on the street.
This is a valiant battle. But as "Me" said, with
small steps and determination, it can be done.
Me gave some great tips. Here are some more tips
that I can think of now (for guarding the eyes
on the street)...
1) Tell yourself that no matter how
painful it feels NOT to look, it will be MORE
PAINFUL
to look. Why? Because when you look,
there are two acute pains you will feel.
a) You feel suddenly far from Hashem and
from your goals.
b) You know you can't have it anyway, and
when you look - you desire it, and you can't
have it, and it HURTS.
So essentially, the pain you feel when not
looking is MUCH BETTER than the pain of looking.
2) The pain you feel when not looking is
HEALING pain, like the pain from an important
surgery. The pain is healing you. On the other
hand, the spiritual pain of looking is the pain
of the disease getting worse. Which pain do you
choose?
3) The pain you feel when not looking is
not really your pain at all. It is the pain of
the Yetzer Hara in his "death throws". He is
screaming that you are hitting him hard. So
enjoy the pain! You are feeling the pain of your
enemy as he dies!
4) The whole desire is a blown up bubble
of hot-air, built around what we see and imagine
in the mind. Experience has shown us all, that
as soon as we get what we thought we wanted --
what we thought was going to be absolutely
incredible (according to what we saw and
fantasized), as soon as it's done, the bubble
pops and all that's left is "hot air". And we
are left shaking our head and not believing that
this was the whole thing for which we sell our
very souls.
So in essence, the fact that we struggle so much
with shmiras ainayim and all these
powerful fantasies, and the fact that we need to
use such strength and give our hearts over to
Hashem - this all is really Hashem's greatest
gift to us.
This sounds a little strange, so let me explain
what I'm trying to say:
If we would just be like the goyim and just give
in and get all we wanted in these areas, we
would have NOTHING at the end. Do they have joy
from this? The minute it's over, they are left
disillusioned and seeking other pleasures to
fill the void they feel. So think about it.
Hashem has chosen us and uplifted us from the
filth of the world with such kindness. He has
given us the opportunity to give him our very
hearts! We have the opportunity to make all
these "valiant" struggles every time we turn
away from looking at something the Yetzer Hara
wants us to look at. But what is the
alternative, if we would give in? Nothing!
Emptiness and disillusionment! The Yetzer Hara
promises so much but delivers nothing! So what
I'm trying to say is, that this whole blown up
desire we have, and all these difficult
struggles not to look, etc... it’s all really a
"game" that Hashem is playing with us. He makes
us feel we are "ripping out our hearts" for him
- and he indeed gives us the reward AS IF WE DID
RIP OUT OUR HEARTS and he allows us to come
closer to him than any non-Jew could dream of
coming, and yet, it's all a game. For if one
would be able to see in advance the way he would
feel after he would give in, he wouldn't
even have a struggle!!
That is perhaps what Chaza”l meant when they
said that one day the Tzadikim will weep with
joy that they were able to overcome the mountain
of the Yetzer Hara, and Resha’im will weep that
they couldn’t overcome this little string of the
Yetzer Hara. One may ask, how could the Yetzer
Hara really be two things? Well, based on what
we just wrote above, it could be that the
Tzadikim are talking about the “mountain” that
the Yetzer Hara “FELT LIKE” – when they DIDN’T
give in. But the Resha’im are seeing the little
“nothing” that the Yetzer Hara really was WHEN
THEY GAVE IN.
So it’s really all a game of Hashem’s chesed and
love for us. Hashem is really only asking of us
to over come a “small string”, but he makes it
LOOK like a mountain so that we can truly give
him our hearts and get the tremendous reward he
wants to give us!
Remember this, and you will stay strong even in
what “feels like” the most difficult moments!
Keep posting here and may Hashem be with you on
your journey!
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