Tip #1) The most important tip of all is to keep away from sexually stimulating material and places! Click here for more detail. What you don't see doesn't fill your mind. A person must learn to guard their eyes everywhere;
2. in the street,
3. with books, magazines and pamphlets,
4. by not watching TV and
Click here for practical ways to guard your eyes in the above 5 places. (Download a .pdf booklet here to learn about the importance of guarding the eyes).
Tip #2) Internalize this truth: "The less you feed it, the less you need it". Click here for more on this important reality.
Tip #3) One of the most healing techniques, psychologically and spiritually, is to help along your own recovery by helping others. Click here to see how you can help others recover as well.
Tip #4) Group support & Accountability. Having the support of others is vital in recovery. It is much harder when "Going it alone". Click here for 4 great ideas for "Group Support & Accountability".
Tip #5) Read about the 12 steps and try to follow them...
Tip #6) It is generally true that a person who is busy doesn't have time to get into trouble. People with lots of free time on their hands fall into all kinds of traps. So try keeping busy, with work, with learning, with sports activity, clubs, volunteer work and the like. If you focus on these projects and succeed in them, you'll have less of a need to seek self-satisfaction in fantasy worlds. Click here for a special section of our site that provides hundreds of Kosher, stimulating time-spending ideas!
Tip #7) If you are determined enough to change, you may have to make some serious life changes. Often, today's office work environment is very unhealthy for someone trying to guard their eyes and the holiness of their bris. If it's important enough for you, you may have to change your job or job environment. Or, for example, if you find yourself tested again and again on your way to work by bus, you may have to find an alternative way to get there. Also, if you live in a non-Jewish or non-religious environment where it is very difficult to stay sexually clean and to guard the eyes, you may be able to find the determination in your heart to get up and move to a Kosher, religious environment. Remember, "life-changing" takes sometimes "life-shaking" moves. But you can be sure that if your motives are for G-dliness, G-d will not let you down.
Tip #8) Write yourself a page of reasons why you hate your addiction and all non-Kosher pleasures. Put other tips, prayers and meditations that could help deter you from falling, on this page as well. Read this list from time to time.
It could also be very helpful to accept upon yourself that no matter what, you will read this list before giving in, each time you feel like you are about to fall. Click here for an example list.
Tip #9) Ba'u Cheshbon! (make a reckoning!). A person keeps promising themselves they will change, but unless they are systematic and conscientious, it will be hard to see real improvement. Keep a log of your progress. Write down at the end of each day how the day went and what things went wrong. Resolve each day to fix what you can and avoid the circumstances and situations that you noticed were triggers that day. This is a powerful technique to seeing real progress. (It also might help to send the log every few days or once a week to a sponsor. Find a sponsor in the Sponsors section of our forum).
Tip #10) Try not to be alone for too long. Get out of the house. Be with a friend. Keep busy. See this page for more ideas.
Tip #11) Ok, you've tried all the tips and you still feel you're going to bust. Your mind is filled with lust and you just can't get rid of it. You feel you are going to fall and start viewing hard-core pictures of flesh. But wait! Before you give in, we have one more tip for you to try. It's admittedly extreme, but as a last resort - it's worth a try... Before you give in and go back to your on-line virtual "flesh friends", we want you to try first viewing some other hard-core pictures of flesh. Pictures that are guaranteed to turn you OFF and help you remember the saying of our Sages: "Remember from where you came and to where you are going, and you won't come to sin. From where did you come? From a putrid drop. And to where are you going? To a place of of dust and worms".
Send us an e-mail with the words "Turn-Off pages" in the subject line, and we'll send you the links to the two"Turn-Off" pages.