Guard Your Eyes

A website for Jews struggling to maintain their moral purity in today's world
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Tips from

1. Stay happy and stay happy and stay happy - a low guy is vulnerable.

2. If you are in an observant Jewish relationship, imbued with true Jewish values, it is likely that you have a much better relationship and love life than most people on the planet. Now that's something.

3. The kabbalist and composer of L'cha Dodi R'Shlomo Alkabetz zt'l writes that the herb henna "gives one self-control and peace of mind; he is not attracted to lustful desires" (Ayeles Ahavim Ch.1). You can dissolve henna in water and drink it every morning on an empty stomach - it will also remedy excessive perspiration (source the Torah book on healing: Natures Wealth p.141). Note Henna is safe for most people - countless Sephardim have used it for centuries for Henna nights before weddings (now you know the wisdom behind this custom - consider it). But be careful: my research turned up these findings: 1)allergic reactions to Henna are rare. 2)However, those who have a G6PD deficinecy which is an inherited blood type should NOT use Henna as it may cause chas veshalom severe problems or even chas veshalom death. Obviously if you suspect you may have that blood type get yourself tested before consuming or using henna - see G6PD websites or ask you doctor for more information. Likewise if you have any other concerns speak to a qualified doctor. Still, for everyone else I recommend henna I have happily taken henna the last week and baruch hashem it has worked as promised! Make sure you buy pure henna - henna hair dye may have other stuff in it you don't want to eat. I got pure henna at the spice shop in the Bucharian Shuk (in the Beit Israel neighbourhood) in Jerusalem.

4. Immerse your head in Talmud and halacha - if you do this you won't be able to think of anything else while you are learning

5. If you feel lust, channel the energy into doing a kosher Chesed. I don't have proof to hand, but I read once that forbidden relations (lo aleinu) stem from misplaced chesed. Channel that energy into doing a Chesed for someone (especially your wife) - it will make you feel all nice and warm inside!

6. Realize that porn is all made up and is actually very nasty and disgusting. Realize porn involves a lot of suffering and human degradation. Realize porn is nothing like a relationship with a real woman.

7. Realize that the western media is overflowing false evil complete rubbish about unbelievable instant relationships and instant incredible love-making. The truth is (obviously if you think about it) that like everything else top quality great relationships and great love-making take a lot of time effort, thought, trial and error, and quality input. Yes gentlemen, we are talking years and serious dedication here! But it's worth it - choose a wife wisely and you'll have the best years of your life.

8. Realize that if after having done Teshuva and Tikkunim you slip, chas veshalom, you are still on a higher level than before. Forget the slip. Keep going - never ever give up getting up - and with Hashem's mighty help you'll get there! You owe this to yourself for eternity - that's big time serious.

9. Don't feel guilt - guilt is, I think, a trap of the Yetzer. When you have achieved some solid achievements of basic Teshuva and Tikkunm and separation from filth for some time, and feel strong, then is the time to cry to benefit your soul. Never ever leap levels.

10. Plug yourself into a Torah learning program you like, with others - you'll really benefit in many ways.

11. Limit computer use - for example lock your computer in a storage room when you are not using it for business.

12. Pray; go to an empty private room and scream to Hashem for help!

13. Pray for other guys to be shomer brit

14. Let your eyes see your teacher. The computer and the internet are a potentially enormous cause of wasted time (lo aleinu). When you think you think of the great person you can become and the great things you can do elsewhere it's clear that one needs to be mightily strongly disciplined in how one uses these items. In fact a very wise person will enlist help to strengthen themselves. And what better help could there be than from a gadol. I suggest everyone should find a picture of a gadol which they find inspiring and stick it prominently to their computer. One can even do this to a laptop - I have done so.

We find a source for this tip in the Torah. Yosef a'h was saved from sinning with eishet Potiphar by envisioning the image of his holy father. Perhaps similarly gedolim could be said to be like spiritual 'fathers' - for the entire generation. One can use a photo of any true gadol that inspires one to do good.

A quick practical way of carrying out this tip is to print off a passport size photo of your chosen gadol, cut out from the printed page a bit more than double the length of the photo, fold that piece of paper in half so the photo is strengthened with a piece of paper behind it, get a roll of very wide clear duct tape/cello tape, put the photo carefully onto the tape, flip the photo carefully forward so that the other side is also covered with tape and so now the photo is sealed with a tag at the end of tape covered with tape. Cut as required and attach to the computer using tape on the tag.