I'd like to my list the 10 commandments for fighting my lust addiction. If only I can live by the following rules, and I think they are attainable, I think I "would have arrived".
I purposely began each "commandment" with the word "today" since this battle must be fought one day at a time.
A word of caution: I think each person has to read through the GYE handbooks and the SA material and, if you are a person who likes to make lists, make your own list. I think this list will work for me, meaning, I think these commandments will help me battle my lust addiction, and I feel that I personally can perform these. This list is personal, and may not be suitable for everyone. But maybe some of these ideas will be helpful for some of you reading this. It's also a reminder for me of what I need to do each day to get better. So here goes:
I will, bli neder, read, and perform the following, daily:
Commandment #1: Fill my day with chizuk
Today I'll read through the GYE handbooks when taking breaks at work instead of surfing around. I'll read and responses to other people's posts and to my posts, and get chizuk from them.
Commandment #2: Remind myself of my addiction
Today I remind myself the first step of the 12 steps ("We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable"): I am addicted to lust and it overtakes my life if I don't try to control it, and that I can't control it all by myself.
Commandment #3: Strengthen my belief in Hashem
Today I remind myself of step 2 of the 12 steps ("Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"): I believe in Hashem who will help me with my battle. I also have a circle of friends here on this forum who are helping me.
Commandment #4: Make Hashem's will my will
Today I remind myself of step 3 of the 12 steps ("Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d").
In matters of anger and control: I believe that Hashem controls the world and it's outcome. Therefore, I will try today not to get angry when something happens against my will. I have a natural tendency to want to control my life, my environment, and other people's lives. I will try to learn to stop fighting and let You, Hashem, run the world the way You see fit. I need to learn to accept myself and others.
I matters of lust: While I will try today not to give in to any of my desires that are against Hashem's will, however, Hashem, You are only one who can relieve my addiction. Please take it away from me!
Commandment #5: Remind myself why I must remove lust from myself
I'll remind myself why I must remove lust from myself. I have to stop lustful emotions as soon as they start by reminding myself that I WANT to let myself go of the lust, even though it gives me a temporary feeling of escape from my unhappiness and from my loneliness, because of the following:
Pleasure is fleeting, false fulfillment, and cuts me off from the world and doesn’t let me feel the tremendous kindness of Hashem, doesn't bind me to the goodness in the world, makes me lose appreciation for my wife and children and be unable to find inner peace. I remain closed up within a shell.
Happiness is ever-lasting, real fulfillment, reconnects me to the world, makes me feel the tremendous kindness of Hashem, see the goodness in the world, helps me gain appreciation my wife and children, and find inner peace.
Commandment #6: Break up the day, be happy
Today I'll be happy. I'll break the day into 3 segments: morning (when I wake up until lunch), afternoon (lunch until I get home), and night (when I get home until I wake up). For every hour, and especially after every segment I stay clean, I will be happy about it.
Commandment #7: Guard my eyes
Today I'll guard my eyes in the office and on the street. I will use my filters to guard my eyes on the internet. When I feel weak, I'll try to read from the GYE handbook instead of trying to bypass my filters.
Commandment #8: Make fences
Today, when I feel like acting out, I won't. I'll wait 10 minutes, sitting or walking around if need be, and by then the lust will have passed.
Today I'll not touch myself.
Commandment #9: Daven better
Today I will direct my energy and spiritual vigor into my prayers. Today I'll focus on davening with more kavana.
Commandment #10: Love, not lust
Today I will treat my wife with love, not as an object of lust. I will work on understanding and living the difference between love and lust.