A website for Jews struggling to maintain their moral purity in today's world
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The 12 Torah Steps
Taken in large from jewishsexuality.com
(See here for more on the first 3 steps from a Torah perspective - "Let Go & Let G-d")
At the outset, we want to emphasize that this is not a complete list of the many effective remedies and atonements that our Sages have formulated for sexual transgression and self-correction, but rather a basic guideline that can serve as a foundation for the lifetime of Torah and t'shuva that must follow, in order not to return to the mistakes of the past.
1. We admitted that we were powerless over lust -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves, the One and Only Creator, who gave the Torah to His nation Israel, could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d, and to cling fast to the commandments and the teachings of His Torah.
4. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to others, especially to a Torah scholar, the exact nature of our wrongs, and made a commitment not to repeat our mistakes.
5. We were entirely ready to put our trust in G-d and have Him remove all of our transgressions through our heartfelt t'shuva, and to trust Him to help us correct unhealthy character traits, and to rectify our moral shortcomings and the spiritual damages we caused. We humbly begged Him to remove our shortcomings and forgive our sins.
6. We took upon ourselves to immerse in a purifying mikvah as often as we could, and to stop gazing at women, or pictures of women, whether on the Internet, on TV or the movies, in magazines or in the street.
7. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would embarrass or injure them, as in the case of children too young to understand.
8. We set upon a course of constant t'shuva, making a daily personal inventory, and if we erred and sinned as before, we promptly admitted it.
9. We fervently prayed to forge a constant, joyous connection to G-d, and spoke to him out loud, on a regular basis as a man speaks to a friend, admitting our weaknesses and fears, and asking for His help in all of our doings, placing special importance on the recital of Tehillim, and special prayers called "Tikunim" designed to rectify the damage we caused to the Brit.
10. We took upon ourselves a loving, joyous, and diligent commitment to Torah study for its own sake, applying ourselves to the learning with the same fervor and passion we once wasted on vanity, and we sought out holy Jewish sages who could help illuminate our learning, knowing that it was in the power of the holy Hebrew letters of the Torah to heal the damage we caused to our eyes, to our souls, and to the world.
11. We took upon ourselves a new heightened level in the fear and reverence of G-d, including a heightened concentration in our daily prayers, in the recital of blessings, and in the proper performance of the commandments, including the sanctification of the marital union, accepting stringencies upon ourselves, rather than pretending that immodest behavior was perfectly all right.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles with all of our strength and with all of our hearts, with the supreme joy of knowing that G-d has forgiven us and created us anew.