Guard Your Eyes

A website for Jews struggling to maintain their moral purity in today's world
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Rabbi Mann answers on the forum of


Q. I found out that my husband has been looking at porn for the past 6 months. I am extremely upset. Does anyone have advice how to deal with it? How should I view the issue? Should we get divorced?


A. Divorce is not a proper solution. Try seeking rabbinic counseling or a marriage counselor. Try to understand that the temptations are so great, it is easy for a man to get hooked. The pain of your discovery is real, but it is wrong to take it as a personal rejection or as a betrayal. Like all addictions, your husband is not in control. He is like a sick person. Try having him read over the advice on this site. But don't be afraid of encouraging to seek outside help. As the Talmud teaches, a prisoner can not free himself from prison.


Webmaster's note: See also here for more advice, and see here for stories written by women married to addicts.