Jewish Spiritual Tips
Tip #1) Join our daily e-mail chizuk list. You will get stronger each and every day. Just like Rabbi Akivah noticed how drips of water over a long period of time can wear down even a rock, so too, a little chizuk each day over time, can totally change your life.
Tip #2) Midah Kineged Midah: When we try to help others recover, this awakens divine mercy and G-d gives special divine assistance to recover ourselves. It's the famous metaphysical "Tit-for-Tat" principle. Click here to see how you can help others recover as well.
Tip #3) Prayer from a broken heart. There's nothing as powerful as prayer to help us return to our source and help us overcome. Here are some prayer tips:
a. Talk to G-d. Tell him you want to get started. Ask him to help you learn to give up your lusts and desires to him.
b. To each person who reads Tehillim, the holy words seem to be talking exactly about their situation. The Tehillim is divided up into days of the month. Spend 10 minutes each day saying the Tehillim portion of that day. You will feel stronger the rest of the day!
c. Here's a powerful prayer tip: While reading Tehillim, make a note of pesukim that you feel relate precisely to your situation. Compile a list, print them out and save them in your wallet to read over to G-d again, when you are feeling weak. Click here for some example pesukim that might be good for you.
d. Sometimes, the most powerful prayers are in your own words. They can be short, but they need to come from the depth of your heart. Some examples:
- Hashem, I am a Kli Shavur (a broken vessel). Please help me!
- Hashem, I am putting in hishtadlus (effort). Please help me!
- Hashem, I feel powerless. I want to give over my obsessions and desires to you! Please help me!
Tip #4) Use vows and commitments to make fences for yourself in those areas that you are sure you can handle, one step at a time. Click here for more information and examples of how to use vows safely, to help yourself break free.
Normally making vows is frowned upon by our sages as with someone playing with fire, but when it comes to girding oneself from sexual temptation, we find that making vows is praised by the Torah and by Chaz"al. As the Pasuk says "Nishbati Va'akayeima, lishmor Mishpatei Tzidkecha" - "I have vowed and will uphold it, to guard your righteous laws". And also it says "Nishba Lehora Velo Yamir - Oseh eileh lo Yimot Le'olam" - "He who swears to prevent bad and does not nullify... he will never falter". And Chaza"l also say that Bo'az swore to guard himself from transgressing when Ruth came to him in the silo at night, as it says "Chai Hashem, Shichvi ad haboker" - "In the name of G-d, lay here until morning".
Tip #5) Learn more Torah. Chaza"l say "The light in it (the Torah) will return him to good". There is a metaphysical power that no one understands, but it's tried and proven. Even learning the most mundane laws, like that of an ox that gores someone else's ox, makes the light of the Torah start to seep into your soul and it won't let you rest. You won't be able to accept anymore this way of life. Also, reading the holy Zohar, even without understanding what is written there, has been known to do wonders for the soul. Click here for a page with ideas to help you increase Torah in your life.
One writer on the forum at www.jewishsexuality.com wrote: Replace all the junk in your head with Torah. Get away from the computer and sit in a yeshiva for a year. That's what I did and it worked! Every day in the beginning I had to battle the yetzer, but I won. God helps! The only thing powerful enough to clean our polluted minds is Torah. For every site you entered, learn another page of Torah. Any other solution is diddly.
The Mishna Berurah states: “It is known from books that the main tikun for someone who has fallen in this matter, G-d forbid, is to increase his Torah study for the rest of his life. Then the merit of Torah will protect him, as it says in Midrash Tanchumin, if a man sins and is deserving of death at the hands of Heaven, what can he do to save himself and live? If he is used to learning one chapter, he should learn two; if one page, then two. If he doesn’t know how to learn, he should busy himself with charity and good deeds. And the main point of his learning should be to practice what he learns… for if not, his learning will not have the power to protect him, G-d forbid.” (Laws of Yom Kippur, Prohibition Against Sexual Relations, 4215b, Section 3. See there, Shar HaTzion, 5 and 6)
Tip #6) Place a picture of a great Tzaddik that you respect, next to your computer. (Click here for one awesome picture).
Tip #7) Say the Tikkun HaClalli of Rabbi Nachman every day, or whenever you fall. The Tikun HaClalli of Rabbi Nachman are a powerful group of Psalms which rectify the damage caused from sins related to the Brit. The Psalms to recite are: 16, 32, 41, 42, 59,77, 90, 105, 137, 150. If one has a copy of the Tikun HaClalli, with the confession printed at the end, it is best to say the Tikun in full. If not, then after reciting the Psalms, one should beg Hashem, in his or her own words, to grant forgiveness from all sexual transgressions and to rectify, in His great compassion, all of the terrible blemishes that our transgressions caused.
For more info on the power of the Tikkun, click here.
For the Tikun HaClalli on-line, click here.
For the Tikun HaClalli in English, click here.
Tip #8) Going to a Mikva every day is a very strong protection against sexual sin and desire. If this is too difficult for you, make sure to go at least when you fall. Think about it. If the waters of the Mikva can make a non-Jew (who wants to convert) into a Jew, imagine what it can do to someone who is already a Jew (and who wants to repent)! When immersing in the Mikva waters, imagine yourself in your mothers womb, and when you come up imagine it is like you are being born anew!
To read more about the Mikva click here.
To learn more about the power of the Mikva, click here.
If a Mikva isn't available near you, click here.